w1 win pembroke regatta

Pembroke Regatta was described to the uninitiated as “that cursed race” (Kathy Begley, President), and more reassuringly “We don’t row this for fun. We do because we have to” (Mirain Lloyd, Women’s Captain). Morale: high from the outset. 
In a knights move from Newnham head, Eddie’s arrived to marshaling early. Mirain insists this was the sheer power of the Eddies steady state paddle. Skeptics might attribute this to her pathological avoidance of lateness. Who’s to say? They say only time can tell; now if only the W1 could learn to tell time. 
The “land warm-up” featured yet another expert demonstration of conserving energy through complete physical stillness (we we’re saving up the watts, Mirain!). 
Wedged into the ‘why are you here already’ parking spot of shame, Eddie’s endured an oblique-destroying preview of the suffering to come. Paling in comparison, of course, to the perils endured by our cox whenever she comes down with yet another case of The Leaning. Entertainment during marshalling was provided by Sophie LW, who staged an unsolicited mic takeover and delivered the Word of the Day: laconic. Ironically.

Race 1: Eddie’s vs Wolfson W2 | Win by 1.5 lengths

Technique at the start of race 1 was at best, theoretical. The first 500 meters would come to be described by Matt Hunt as “not necessarily really moving the boat,” which does not do justice to what really was, to date, our best interpretation of a dyspraxic spider. 
Wolfson shot off the line and promptly exited the field of vision of stern pair. What followed was a 500m so emotionally harrowing that Matt later skipped the traditional post-race pub, citing his need “to lie down after all that”. 
Somehow undeterred, Eddie’s placed their trust in their rhythm - excellently set by Sophie LW and Kathy B, translated down the boat by Megan E, and 5 seat… well, 5 seat was given the highly technical instruction to “just put down watts”. After what has since been formally recorded as “the most dogs**te 500 meters” Eddie’s soared ahead to cross the finish line 1.5 boat lengths ahead. 
Wolfsons PB advice to “be brave but not too brave” was well intentioned and comprehensively ignored.

---

Semi-Final: Eddie’s vs Churchill W2 | Win by 1.5 lengths

Panic levels at the start line were noticeably improved for round two, although not fully eradicated, especially as we watched (for the second time that day) the two boats racing right before us collide into each other within 20 strokes. 
Comforting. 
Fortunately, our line remained safely in the hands(-only taps) of expert bow pair Allie B-L and Maxanne M, which meant Eddie’s managed to save the bumping for Bumps (and the very occasional morning outing oopsie). This time, the Eddie’s existential crisis dissipated within 20 strokes before settling into a composed rhythm, dispatching Churchill by 1.5 boat lengths. 
​

Final: Eddie’s vs Emma W3 | Win by 3 lengths

By the third attempt, something extraordinary happened. Eddie’s rowed well the entire race, securing not only a 3 boat length win, but an end to the longstanding Eddie’s x Pem regatta curse. We don’t know who lifted it suspect it may have required sacrifice. 
As per win-or-lose protocol, Eddie’s headed to the pub, where Allie B-L claimed a decisive victory in the category of “Most Unhinged Behaviour of the Week.” 

Bring on Bumps!